another post today, i'm really racking them up

Sometimes I wish...
that I had a best friend that I could just talk to hang out with.
I wish that I was this person's best friend in return.
I know, I have Marshall... but sometimes I just want a best friend that isn't Marshall.

I don't have anyone like that because everyone I know has another best friend already.
Amanda is my best friend. But she's my sister, and sometimes I feel like that doesn't count. Plus she's infinity miles away and I can't really hang out with her. I like to think of Hanna Petersen as a best friend sometimes. But, she already has tons of friends... and even though we hang out a lot, we don't hang out A LOT.

Everyone seems to have their own thing. I don't. Sometimes I feel plain and not special. In my mind, I have a grandiose life... I'm what the world revolves around. Like the other day I heard a snippet of a conversation between this boy and girl. He said something about "sexiest girl in Shepherdstown" and for some reason I automatically assumed that he was talking about me. After I had picked up Sara, as we were in the car going to Nutters, I saw the guy with the girl again and it seemed that he stared at me a little too long... anyway. it wasn't like he was attractive or anything. and it's most likely my imagination, but instances like these just make me feel a little better about myself.
I remember what I used to be like. I wish I was still like that. I used to be nice and smart and funny. Now I'm mean and dumb... and I'm the only person who laughs at my jokes. But for some reason I can't bring myself to be the person that I want to be.

It just seems like my life isn't what I want it to be. But then again, who's life is?