Thinking...

I've been contemplating a break up. It might have just come to this. When I feel bad, he makes me feel worse. And I don't want this to persist. I'm tired of crying over something stupid. I'm afraid to end it though. But if I try, maybe he'll change... or I'll just go running back. How would it work out being apart... seeing that we live in the same house? Do I move out? Or maybe he'll move away. If I move out, all my stuff goes with me. If I leave... he owes me a grand. This house will be empty. And I'll have my revenge. But how will I feel? I can't think right now, at least not seriously. I just contemplate on what could make me feel better. I'll take all my stuff, all that belongs to me... lock them in my room and say "there you can't use any of my stuff" to mikey. what would he do? well, probably go buy stuff... have fun with that... or kick me out?!? oh, no! sike. he couldn't even kick me out. i pay the bills, I'll clean up my messes... but I won't share my stuff. Coincidentally... everything is mine. Even the bed he sleeps on. I wish I could just move out... find someplace... and take all that is mine. Because... I can... because no one can tell me what to do and what not to do.
I can be a bitch. Believe me. I know everyone's weaknesses... I can say the meanest things that you have ever heard... but I don't. I could tell Mikey that I find him bland at best, he has little personality, he's an asshole, and he's not attractive enough to make those qualities okay... I could say "No wonder why your ex girlfriend cheated on you." I could say those things. I know how to break hearts. I have the power to make anyone miserable... but I rarely let that happen. I have the decency to do so. But one of these days, I'm just going to say it...